Dhondu !!!!

Dhondu was barely 10 years old when my badi mummy (as we addressed my maternal grandmother) brought him home as house help. It was the late nineteen fifties and like thousands others in rural India Dhondu was ripped away from his village in Mahad in Maharashtra and sent to Mumbai to make a living. His family of poor farm laborers relentlessly toiled in the fields to grow food but had little to fill their own bellies. So Dhondu was the designated savior to a long line of hungry siblings and ageing parents who depended on him to eke out a living and save them from starvation. 

My badi mummy was a strict regimental matriarch with a large family and an even larger extended family. She was a devout Vaishnav and strictly followed all the rituals and regimens of the sect which required pujas and rituals at regular intervals throughout the day. Besides, she loved to cook and entertain. Little Dhondu was overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of his responsibilities as badi mummy's assistant. He was hardly four feet tall, wheatish and stubby with thin undernourished limbs but had the enthusiasm and wide eyed curiosity of a little kitten with a new ball of wool. He worked hard and followed instructions diligently. He was mostly happy with his emancipation from a deprived existence to a place of plenty. badi mummy was a disciplinarian and tough boss but loved to feed. So little Dhondu happily transitioned from sharing watered down meals at his village home to platefuls of hot, fresh food which badi mummy generously laid out in front of him after a hard day’s work. Dhondu ate to his heart’s content sometimes over stuffing himself so much that he couldn't move. He was then angrily rebuked by badi mummy who couldn't tolerate even an iota of inefficiency or laziness. 

Dhondu worked as hard as someone his age could, doing chores and running errands throughout the day. Initially he remained content and happy with a full stomach but as time passed, his thoughts often veered to his carefree life back home.  He missed the open fields, his small but welcoming mud hut, his friends, his siblings and most of all, his mother. He often felt lost in the big city where he felt the plates were full but hearts were empty. Many a time he would cry himself to sleep, dreaming of his days of diving and splashing in his village pond with his friends.

Then one morning a couple of months after his arrival, he fell sick. His throat itched, head ached and his body burned with fever. He was miserable but did not utter a word and kept on with his chores. However the next morning his fever spiked and he was covered in red angry boils all over. He was shivering with fear and silently sobbing when badi mummy went up to his bed near the pantry. He was scared she would fire him and send him home and so closed his eyes and cried even more. He wished his mother was with him. She would wipe his tears with her old torn sari, make sweet black tea for him and cuddle him till he fell asleep. But in this big city he had no one to call his own. He was so alone. Dhondu flinched when his chain of thought was suddenly broken by a soft, warm touch over his burning forehead. To his utter astonishment he found badi mummy sitting cross legged by his side. Her usually firm face looked softened in the morning light as she gently patted his head. Dhondu was dumbstruck and barely moved lest this be a dream. But badi mummy just sat there uttering soothing words of comfort to the lonely suffering boy. As Dhondu’s fear turned to relief he burst into loud uncontrollable sobs.

Dhondu’s chicken pox was very severe. He suffered a great deal for the next two weeks. The fever, the rash, the cough and the discomfort was unbearable for the poor village boy. But badi mummy tended to him round the clock at times as a caring mother and at others like a strict nurse would. She fed him hot khichdi and cool barley buttermilk and applied boric powder and neem leaves to soothe the itching eruptions. Little Dhondu  was overwhelmed by the tender care, something he had never experienced before. Even his own mother burdened by life’s challenges had never pampered him as much. As Dhondu was nursed back to health his fear of badi mummy disappeared and turned to veneration. Badi mummy too became softer towards him as if the sickness made her realize that he was just a little boy. And a new relationship was born.

For fourteen long years, badi mummy and Dhondu made an irrepressible team running the home like a well-oiled super-efficient machine. Dhondu became a strapping enthusiastic young lad who was badi mummy's shadow. They had an amazing understanding. He deciphered what she needed even before she said it aloud. He was devoted to her and was her pillar and rock. She in turn trusted and depended on him implicitly. As she grew older and weaker, Dhondu was her stick and support. He could convince badi mummy on issues even her children dare not. She bent many rules for Dhondu including allowing him to touch her precious puja vessels. Dhondu was unflinchingly by badi mummy’s side through all life’s ups and downs, from children’s engagements, weddings, births of four grandchildren, financial debacles and nanaji's illness and demise. Come what may Dhondu never left badi mummy's side. He was her support, her helper, her assistant and her hand to hold on to. He was completely and totally a part of her large family and an even larger heart. 

Even for me and my younger cousins Dhondu was our favorite babysitter and playmate. He looked after us with care, cooked for us, fed us, took all four of us to the park or to the beach and even told us bedtime stories. I very clearly recall one instance when all elders were out and we demanded he feed all four of us together as he told us stories of his village days. He so lovingly obliged and slowly and patiently fed each one of us in turns as we munched away listening to him in rapt attention. 

Life is Amazing. Is it not!! It brings together the unlikeliest of people who end up enhancing and enriching each others lives and giving it meaning and direction.  Dhondu received love from unexpected quarters which transformed his life and in turn his quiet devotion and rock solid presence gave badi mummy the much required support and strength in her later years. 

Dhondu must now be in his sixties and has a family of his own. A family which I hope he would have nurtured with the same love, care and values in which he grew up. And I am sure badi mummy must be showering her choicest blessings on him from time to time from her abode in the heavens!!