The Perfect Match

Nisha walked down the road from her workplace.  It was already 6:30 pm .It would be 8 before she reached home after a long bus ride and a train ride later. She looked at the long winding road ahead of her. The labyrinthine rows of cars of varied shapes and colors moved in the slow traffic.  She wondered if she would ever be the one sitting inside the car looking down her nose upon the people walking on the road. Will it be in this life time?

 She distracted her thoughts to the tasks ahead of her. What meal would she cook? Hope the maid had cut the vegetables and put the cooker on. She was dying for a cup of coffee. She wished she could just grab a cup from the inviting cafe coffee day close to her bus stop .But she could not afford the luxury of spending 50 rupees on a coffee cup which could fix vegetables for a day for her family. Family...yes her family her husband and 2 children... 

How happy she had been when she had married Naveen. He was the most eligible bachelor in her community with his fancy management degree, tall dark good looks, beautiful sea view flat and the well-paying job at a multinational.  It was a dream comes true for her when the perfect match went through. It had made many heads turn and also made many jealous including her aunt who always thought her daughter Ekta was a better candidate. Even today a memory of her aunt's disgruntled face through the wedding celebrations brought a smile to Nisha's lips. She had no doubt been lucky.

 Life after a perfect marriage was even more perfect and dreamy. Naveen was a loving and doting husband, she had a beautiful home by the sea which she kept spic and span and two adorable babies. She had all the comforts she could wish for including a swanky new car. They planned to buy their own apartment soon and maybe a second car for Nisha. Life was just glorious. Naveen was truly a perfect match for her.

But “Life” as they say has its own agenda. One day without much warning, Naveen's multinational company closed shop due to a financial scam. The company flat on the beachside was gone and they were forced to move in a small flat in a distant suburb. They sold the car and their dream of their own home dissolved into oblivion. Naveen remained jobless and depressed for months as he never found an equally paying job in the economic downturn. As the savings dwindled and expenses rose a reluctant Nisha had stepped in and had taken up a job after more than a decade of being a full time homemaker. How torn she had been to leave behind 10 year old Ashima and 5 year old Ninad with her mother in law and travel to the other end of the city to eke out a living. 

She had been so angry with life, her situation and most of all at Naveen. Initially he had been “adequately” guilty and apologetic at Nisha’s predicament. But as months passed, Nisha noticed Naveen becoming complacent. He stopped trying hard at interviews saying he had always “dreamed” of starting his business. But he mostly whiled away his time away at home watching TV and running an occasional errand to help his mother with the kids. Nisha squirmed but helplessly watched her "ideal match" of a husband change to a good for nothing nincompoop. Her job as an Executive Assistant to the CEO of a small time start-up was interesting and challenging but definitely not well paying. Nisha just about managed to keep the home fires burning with the help of her very supportive and kindhearted mother in law. But they really had to cut corners. While Nisha cowered at their fall from grace, Naveen seemed oblivious to the watery subji and thinning dal on his plate. 

Eventually, Naveen started working with a small time share broker near their home. Nisha knew he could do much better than that but Naveen felt it was best he was closer to home so he could keep an eye on the home and the kids. Nisha was happy that at least Naveen had stepped in. Life would now get better as Naveen would settle in the new field. She could eventually quit her job and take back the reigns to her family. Her daughter was nearly a teen and needed her mother around. Besides her mother in law had started keeping unwell and was unable to bear the burden of household chores.

But Life had not had it out with her. Naveen got bedazzled by the false glitter of speculative stock trade and lost more money than he had earned and quit the job at the Stockbroker and back to his seat in front of the TV. Nisha was back to being the sole bread winner barely trying to make ends meet.

The rude blaring horn of a latest SUV model brought her back from her chain of thoughts. She stopped in her tracks and glared at the twenty- something lady driver with blazing eyes. She hated the lucky woman. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for herself and wished she could free herself from this life she had never imagined or wanted for herself. She did not find her “perfect match” not so perfect any more. But for Naveen it couldn’t have been more perfect.

To My Teachers with Love....

Image Source: www.dreamtime.com

I was like a little lost kitten in the big bad world,

Confused and overwhelmed by the madness and confusion abound,

Life appeared like a long dark, stone strewn path,

And I was completely clueless on finding my way around.

Barraged by a million questions and problems,

Flooded by a cacophony of meaningless numbers and sounds,

Expectation writ large on faces of loved ones,

I incessantly worried how I would ever cruise along.

But then there was Light!! And You breezed in dear Teacher,

With a smiling face and kind eyes full of compassion unbound,

You held on to my damp little hand gently but firmly,

And promised to show me how to get around.

  

Puzzled, Bewildered, Baffled and Perplexed,

I stumbled and fell a thousand times,

Lucky for me I was always pulled up,

By your strong hand that firmly and lovingly held on to mine.

I was fearful, afraid and unsure of the path,

The crests worried me and so did the troughs,

But  I placed in you my absolute faith and trust ,

And to say the least in the end it wonderfully paid up.

I slowly staggered to the end of the tunnel towards the light,

White, luminous and brilliant, a messenger of knowledge and hope ever so bright,

The darkness melted and my confidence zoomed

And I fluttered my tiny wings and took the final flight.

Ever since..

I have soared high over scores of dark paths and tunnels,

And glided through the treacherous trails of mountains and burrows,

But to this day when I  spread my confident wings to fly against the race of time,

I distinctly feel the strong grip of your loving hand on mine.

Happy Teacher’s Day to all my wonderful teachers who held my hand through the dark tunnel of ignorance leading me to the bright light of knowledge!! 

There's Hope!!

I hold the pen,
I write the words
Of facts and figures,
Of trends and estimates,
And Graphs and charts.

I fill reams full of words, my words,
 But they do not belong to me,
They do not pour out from my depths,
They do not bear my feeling and  emotions,
They are like my step children. .mine but not through me.

I love to write and I live to write,
To drain my ever flowing reservoir of thoughts,
To bear them to the world,
To put myself out there,
To create a kaleidoscope of my myriad fantasies,
Not a mound of these Soulless and Faceless words ..

But then again atleast I have a pen,
So there's hope,
For when it's time it will write. .
My very own words, mirroring my feelings, belonging to me

The Chai Chronicles !!!

 Brrrr... The chilly winter morning with a lethal wind cutting through the fog, the stressed morning sun making a desperate but unsuccessful attempt to rise above the thick barriers of fog and pregnant clouds. Only the very brave or the very helpless have ventured out of their blankets onto the  streets. But through the impenetrable dark fog, a little dim light around the corner presents an unusual glimmer of hope...its a little tea stall (aka chai ki dukan, chai ki tapri, kitli).

A tea stall around the corner is a common occurrence across any city, town, village or hamlet in India. Every Indian (except those who are hung up on milk or those who prefer the exotic coffee) is a tea drinker. Not just tea but the quintessential Indian masala chai (Chai Tea according to Starbucks whatever that means) which is a sure shot cure for that unnerving winter chill or warm summer blues or on a cold rainy evening.  Just holding on to the hot beverage and slowly blowing into the boiling liquid brings the much needed respite from slumber and torpor. As you bring the hot cuppa to your lips, the strong fragrant vapors of the piping liquid rejuvenate the system and one short sip of the liquid brings to life every pore in the body and you feel enveloped in the warm, loving, almost therapeutic herbal embrace of ginger, cardamom cinnamon, pepper and cloves.

Chai in India is nothing short of a religion. Most Indians are used to sipping chai even before they wake up completely, be it winter or summer. The quintessential chai ki chuski (tasteful sip) gives the necessary jolt to push out the sleep and pump up the energy for the day. Every home has a recipe for the drink using specialized herbs or spices depending on the palate of the family and resourcefulness of the tea maker.

Indians drink tea all day long across all seasons.  In the Indian context Chai is not just a drink. A cup of Chai in India (which incidentally sounds so similar to the Hindi word for love (Chah)) has myriad of connotations. It can denote a mother's love, a wife's treat, budding friendship, building camaraderie, a break from monotony, relaxation and renewal depending on the time of the day and the person with whom it is shared. Though kids are not allowed to drink tea I started my tea innings at 4 as I hated the smell of milk and so my mother mixed it with tea to get me to drink it. Needless to say I was hooked and today I proudly consider myself one of the best masala chai makers and drinkers I know. :-)

With the chai being so much a part of the Indian way of life I always believed that just like the “mighty zero” and “the eternal chess” this too was a proud Indian discovery. But a chance program on the EPIC Channel (The only sensible Hindi Channel on Indian TV see here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iagO0mQlIFM) opened my eyes to the facts. Here they are. 

• Tea was discovered in China 4700 years ago and came to India much much later brought by none other than the British. 
• The first commercial production of tea in India only began post 1820s. And much like their other contribution- the railways- Tea too became an indefatigable part of Indian way of life.
•  Thanks to the British, India began to give tough competition to China in production and export of tea not to mention the millions it made for the coffers of the British government. 
• Even today India is the second largest producer of tea but thanks to the trillions of cuppas sipped up by its billions, 70% of India's tea is used at home.

As  the chai so  the chai wala (Tea shop owner) occupies a position of importance in the Indian diaspora. A typical chai shop in India comprises of a small table with a stove and a couple of stools to seat the clients. Every chai wala has a special recipe and flavour and a very loyal clientele .The chaiwala provides specialized service to his loyalists as per their tastes and preferences-whether a kadak mithi (strong and sweet), malai marke (full of cream) or cutting (a real small portion). In fact he even plays the role of  the good listener and agony aunt to the harried tea drinker who pours out his sorrows over sips  of the soothing 'potion'.  The chaiwala is hence a key source of local undercurrents and gossips and to some extent a thought leader.No surprise then that a former "chaiwala" now occupies the most important, powerful and respectable position in the Indian Government . Long live the Indian Chai !!!!

Summer Wars !!!

The winter has come and gone. !! The first signs of the end of winter in Gurgaon are not the warm evening air or people sans the colorful shawls and sweaters or the absence of lazy foggy mornings. It is the resurfacing of the sly creepy slithering lizards which the place is infested with. If you are, like me, psychotic about the creatures, Gurgaon can be a nightmare to live in. These lizards have clearly established their domain in the city. No amount of care and cleanliness and fumigation of your home can help you get rid of these omnipresent creatures. They might just creep upon you from anywhere. In the building porches, corridors, gardens, behind the book shelf, under the kitchen cabinet, on the shower curtain or worst still slithering on the floor. There are just millions of them everywhere. Maybe Gurgaon is the safe haven of lizards and they come and settle here from all over the country and perhaps even migrate from colder climates.  I do not have facts or research to support this but my bet is that "Gurgaon lizards" (henceforward referred to as "the creature") are the fastest in the world. I suspect they are also blessed with uncanny supernatural powers to appear and disappear at will.

 When I first moved to Gurgaon from Mumbai I lived in a large and sparsely furnished home away from the city, in the Aravali Hills. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would have to deal with "the creatures" besides missing the hustle bustle of Mumbai and its vivacity. They were of varied shapes, sizes, colors and personalities parked themselves all over the house in their respective corners slyly marking their territory. But they all had a singular common trait- total and complete fearlessness from humans and their arsenal (read measly jhadoos and insect sprays). No amount of efforts and attacks had any effect on them. They just kept coming back and back again. My act was the same every time. "Creature Spotting-cringing-screaming- jhadoo-spray and finally running-hiding and cursing my fate”. Slowly I grew tired of this constant fear mongered war and my Mumbaiyya spirit of "dealing with all adversity" clicked in. One fine wintery morning I had a divine realization.

This war was nothing but a natural progression of living in North India. While in the west where I was born and grew up the culture was of "Being and letting be”, in North it was "Me before he/she". Many blame it on the multiple wars and military attacks to this part of the country over the centuries resulting in a constant struggle for survival of the fittest. I don't really know to what extent it is true but the fact is every interaction in this part of the country is about power play. Whoever is the first to establish the stamp of authority and power is the winner all the way. If you wilt or flinch in the slightest.there!!! the power is gone to the opponent. Be it with the doodhwala (milkman), sabjiwala (vegetable vendor), maid or neighbors and even new found friends. Once you allow the other person to wield authority, you cannot complain of being "taken for granted" or "not consulted" or "lied to". Always always always establish the power. Be it by aggression, assertion or a plain and simple shouting match as the circumstance or opponent category may require.

Once this realization was complete I got my act together in more ways than one.   I decided to mend my ways to deal with the "the creature" too. I realized that just like the rest of the things in North India this play was also about power. So after the first winter (when incidentally the cold blooded creatures disappear completely. Oooh don’t I love the season!! ) I told myself, this is my house and these creatures are not welcome. So I wielded power and fortified my home with specially ordered "Laxman Rekha" chalk (which is said to keep away lizards), got a pest control treatment (though the company rep confirmed their treatment had no effect on "the creature") and equipped myself with a long "jhadoo" and multitude of insect sprays. So when the first of "the creatures" appeared I nearly welcomed them, waiting with bated breath to see the effect of my "power play". But Alas!!! They remained unaffected. It was just business as usual for them. I was totally flustered and irritated. I was ready to pack my bags and move rather than live in this lizard infested place. And we did!!! To a more central location in the city where "the creatures" existed but in lesser numbers.

I have been living for six long years in this house and am in my seventh year in Gurgaon but the war is on. My routine of creature spotting-cringing-screaming- jhadoo-spray and finally running-hiding still continues. Sometimes I wilt and occasionally the creature makes a run for it but the war continues from one summer till the next. My latest divine realization in this case is Man (or woman) exerts no power over "the creatures" and also that not every war can be won. Some you have to just keep fighting!!!!